未完成

问题:
         你认为什么时刻是最难过的?
         • 亲人离开?
         • 得不到自己想要的?
         • 被遗忘?
         • 跟在乎的人说再见?

最近的情绪比较奇怪吧? 不是开心, 不是难过, 就只是普通..
简单来说, 没有感觉

我特别喜欢 <吸血鬼日记> 的其中一个情节 : Elena, turn her feelings off.

我在想, 终于有人明白了吗? 因为我觉得自己是在做那样的事.

压抑自己的心情不容易, 可是也不难.

我选择不跟他人特别亲近, 因为害怕依赖, 害怕受伤, 害怕伤害别人, 害怕离别的时候..
你说,不要什么都害怕..可是我暂时还没有那个勇气..

你知道吗? 最让人伤感的事: 男孩对女孩好, 日子久了, 女孩从一开始的抗拒 到最后喜欢上了男孩 和 需要男孩 时.. 男孩已经没有了喜欢女孩的感觉 也没有想要继续对她好.. 而只是平淡地当女孩是普通的朋友..

那时, 无论如何, 都应该要给女孩点时间..习惯..明白自己不应该自以为是

我不想再落泪, 不想自己随时都被恶梦吓醒。不想那么脆弱。

pre-explosion.

It was needed, to write something.

Maybe it is to show I do still feel, or to help myself to try to feel more.

I just need to do something that will calm me.

Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me. There was one time, I thought I am a better version of me. Everything seems so right.
But, I suppose. it was just an illusion.

I kept quiet cause I don't know what is right to say. But please don't take advantage of that.

さんがつ ついたち

It was a crazy day I must say, I might remember this happy day forever.
My unexpected 19th birthday. ♥ 

U will never imagine how surprised I am and how flattered I feel.

My friends and family really make me feel like a princess.

I can't imagine what kind of luck bring these people into my life.

My birthday was on a Friday. 

and because I didn't had a good week on the days before my birthday, I really didn't have any expectations for my birthday.

I even had a terrible day before my birthday, didn't had a proper meal for the whole day.

What made it even worse was that, I was home alone that evening.

Fell asleep and woke up in a dark surrounding with nobody around.

I was so sad.... 

In the end, I cried... like a crazy girl... I cried and laugh at the same time!

Don't get me wrong. It was because I found out about my friend's planned surprise!

Plus, the wishes from all my best friends that can't see me on my bday, my parent's caring words, my sudden realization that people around me Love me a lot.

 

To not make this post extremely long. I will just briefly go through how i spent my 2013 birthday.

12am ; I really didn't expect this. Just a simple tiny cake from the tiny family. But I feel cared :)

and also not to forget, dinner from a good friend that cheered me up a lot :D 

Next day early morning. (which is also my 19th birthday) We don't have morning class on Friday so Jolynn asked me to have breakfast together. Without any expectation again, I was shocked to see my classmates there. Thank you :D

At the same time, an even more amazing thing happened.

My dear dad, brought mi sua, my birthday gift and a red packet for me. (cause coincidentally it was my lunar birthday too)

Just for me, he drove to see me 10mins and went home. 

:')

After class, I went back to my hostel to wait going back home. And with mixed feelings, I was waiting anxiously. 

U guys, this is the most successful surprise. I am really touched by this, sorry although i didn't cry in front of u but it's because i cried a lot the night before when i heard about this plan. hahahaha

Love you guys a lot! Really, Seriously.

The next day, I went to Penang Island again to stay a night there with my family.

It was a great time, Just relaxing and enjoying myself with them :)

It was just a good timing for me to rest and feel happy about everything.

My 19th birthday was enjoyable, lovable and memorable.

I appreciate all the wishes and celebrations from everyone :D

THANK YOU,  ♥